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Feeling is Not Failing
Vulnerability is courage
Why is it that many of us only show our vulnerable side at the most extreme times? After all, vulnerability should not be confused with weakness.
Being vulnerable not only helps us build relationships, but also experience our feelings more deeply. It gives us hope, provides a sense of belonging, enables us to feel empathy, and builds meaning in our lives.
Yet, rather than respecting those who are courageous enough to show their vulnerability, we tend to criticize them, becoming judgmental.
But to see vulnerability as a weakness would be to conclude that feeling is failing.
Typically, our reluctance boils down to the following thinking:
- I want to experience the vulnerability of others without sharing my own.
- Vulnerability is courageous in others, but it is an inadequacy in me.
- I am drawn to the vulnerability of others but repelled by my own.
And vulnerability isn’t about oversharing, it has boundaries and requires a trust that must be earned.
In her book Daring Greatly, Brené Brown (2015) uses a jar full of marbles as a metaphor for the amount of effort we put into and take out of friendships and relationships.
